Skip Bayless is dead wrong on anxiety and depression. But he shouldn't lose his job.
He’s dead wrong. But I’m so glad he said it.
Here’s why…
If you like sports, what I’m about to say is going to be relevant to you. If you don’t like sports, what I’m about to say is still going to be relevant to you. That’s because sports is only the stage on which this drama is playing out. The subject matter is about something much deeper, something more important, something much more necessary. It’s about anxiety and depression and the public’s view on it, and how that view is very very wrong.
If you don’t know the name Skip Bayless, I’m about to fix that. If you do, bear with me a second. Earlier this week Bayless said something that’s nicely described as misguided. But if you and I were having a beer I’d say it was idiotic. So maybe let’s just call it that: It was idiotic.
So what did Bayless say? It all centers around what Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott admitted recently about what he went through during COVID and the lockdowns. And what he want through was anxiety and depression.
“All throughout this quarantine and this off-season, I started experiencing emotions I’ve never felt before,” Prescott told a reporter. “Anxiety for the main one. And then, honestly, a couple of days before my brother passed, I would say I started experiencing depression. And to the point of, I didn’t want to work out anymore. I didn’t know necessarily what I was going through, to say the least, and hadn’t been sleeping at all.”
By the way, his comment about his brother passing was a little euphemistic. His brother didn’t just pass, his brother committed suicide. That’s enough to rattle anyone.
That brings us to Bayless. Bayless is a controversial commentator for FS1 (Fox Sports) paid to say controversial things. It gets ratings. It gets viewers. It gets attention. He’s a Cowboys fan. So when he heard Prescott’s words, he came up with a controversial reaction.
To be fair, I won’t summarize. I’ll just let you read it:
“I have deep compassion for clinical depression, but when it comes to the quarterback of an NFL team, you know this better than I do, it’s the ultimate leadership position in sports, am I right about that? You are commanding an entire franchise. … And they’re all looking to you to be their CEO, to be in charge of the football team. Because of all that, I don’t have sympathy for him going public with ‘I got depressed. I suffered depression early in COVID to the point that I couldn’t even go work out.’ Look, he’s the quarterback of America’s team.”
Read it again, if you can, or watch it here. It gets worse every time. You could pick apart a lot of stuff there, like the opening, “I have deep compassion for clinical depression, but…”. A word of advice: If you have to throw in a “but” you may want to reconsider what you’re about to say. That’s beside the point, though.
Here’s my main problem: Bayless’s comments reinforce every caricature and stereotype of what it means to struggle with mental health. They reinforce the notion that those of us who battling things like anxiety, OCD, or depression are weak. That we lack “toughness.” That we should “suck it up” and “just get over it.” That the issues are there, sure, but they’re not REALLY that bad — or at least not bad enough to affect what we do for a living. Bayless’s comments say that us sufferers can’t lead when we struggle or are vulnerable because how can anyone legitimately respect us after knowing how broken we are?
That’s what Bayless was saying. And he couldn’t be more wrong.
Let me say this, and let me say it very clearly: Being vulnerable about where you are struggling mentally is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength. Telling the world you are battling anxiety and depression doesn’t make you someone who should be looked down on, it makes you someone who should be looked up to. I have met so many incredible people since I have opened up about my own struggles, and they are some of the strongest most incredible people I have ever met. I’d follow them into a burning building, and you can bet I’d follow them in a football huddle. Heck, I already follow them into battle.
But you know why so many people keep it bottled up, just waiting to explode? Because of the Skip Baylesses of the world. Because people like him are actually not the exception, they are the rule. Earlier this year, I tweeted about how there is still a stigma around mental health in the church. Someone responded with, “Do these people still exist? Haven’t seen it since the 90s.” He just couldn’t fathom it. Yes, yes they do. Look no further than Skip Bayless.
That brings me to the second part, though: What to do with Bayless. He’s apologized, although it was hollow and blamed others for “misconstruing” what he said. Much of the backlash centered on Prescott’s depression being related to his brother’s suicide, and Bayless made a point to say that wasn’t the depression he was talking about or criticizing. OK…but that doesn’t really make it any better. Ironically, it just proves my point even more. It shows how people like Bayless make themselves the arbiters of what is a “real” mental health issue versus one you should just, you know, get over and shut up about. Once again, it’s idiotic.
So idiotic that people are now calling for Bayless to be fired. I live in Dallas, where Prescott plays, and the local sports radio station spent hours calling for his head this morning. And in this era of cancel culture, I’m not surprised. I’ll be honest, initially there was a part of me that entertained it, that part that thirsts for revenge and says, “This is a righteous anger!” But that voice was quickly replaced by a different one, one that first and foremost asked me to have compassion on the man. No matter how misguided he is, he’s still a human being, and I’m still a Christian called to love and forgive. Dang it!
Later, that voice also told me something else: “You know, you should actually be thankful for Skip Bayless. He just did everyone with a mental health issue a favor.”
How true.
You’ll hear me say this a lot as we get closer to launching my book book because it’s a foundational part of it, so I might as well start saying it now: In order to have power over something we have to name it. And in order to name it, we have to recognize it. I was never able to get power over my anxiety and OCD until I was able to recognize them, describe them, and name them. Well guess what: That’s true as well for misguided beliefs. We can’t address a misguided idea if we don’t know that it exists! Skip Bayless is wrong, yes, but I wouldn’t be able to write this post explaining why he’s wrong if he didn’t say what he did. In bringing his thoughts to light, we are able to see them and address them. Ideas in darkness have a way of festering and growing and getting more powerful. And those ideas can only be exposed for what they truly are if they are seen.
Bayless exposed his beliefs, and I thank God, because now I — now we — can address them.
I disagree with Skip Bayless. I think he’s wrong. I know he’s wrong. But just because someone is wrong or disagrees with us doesn’t mean they should never have a chance to say anything else, it doesn’t mean they should be silenced and prevented from every speaking again. Listen, I’ve been wrong in the past. I will be wrong in the future. I hope I don’t lose my job or my livelihood because of that. I believe in dialogue, in conversations. It’s one of the reasons I’m a writer. And I think it will be more powerful to turn Skip Bayless into an ally than to chase him off our TV, to educate him instead of evict him. But that requires a conversation, and chasing him into silence will never create that dialogue.
I hope Skip Bayless delivers a more genuine apology. It think that’s in order. I hope he admits where he’s wrong, and where he can grow. I hope he gets vulnerable and real opens up about his struggles. I hope he learns. In other words, I hope he follows the very leadership of the man who he said lacks it.
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